Useful Idiots

By: Jose Antonio PhD.
Date Published: Summer 2009

Vladimir Lenin is supposed to have referred to blind defenders and apologists for the former Soviet Union in the Western democracies as “useful idiots” according to noted economist Dr. Thomas Sowell. I guess when the Soviet Union crumbled, these useful idiots scattered like cockroaches when the lights turned on. Nowadays the term “useful idiots” is often used to describe individuals or groups who are so beholden to a blatantly moronic idea, that it only helps those who hold opposing viewpoints. For instance, if you’re the president of the flat earth society, you’re clearly a “useful idiot” for those who believe the Earth is an oval object. Where am I headed with this? Follow me grasshopper.

In what is perhaps the most idiotic story I’ve read in a long time (reference: Father, son say supplement is legal (http://www.vindy.com/news/2009/feb/11/father-son-say-supplement-is-legal/?print ) author: William k. Alcorn; Wednesday, February 11, 2009), a 15-year-old Struthers High School football player (in the Buckeye state; that’s Ohio for my Canadian friends) was suspended for possession of….drum roll please….cocaine? No. Mmm….marijuana? Guess again. Creatine? Bingo my friend. Yes, suspended for possession of creatine. If you’re scratching your head too, join the rest of us who have a modicum of common sense and actually know what creatine is. According to the news story, “School’s Superintendent Robert Rostan said he would not discuss the case of a specific student. But, he did say there is a sign in the school weight training room listing banned substances, which includes creatine.” Another doozy of a quote from the story was from John Patrick, strength and conditioning coach for the Youngstown State University football team. He said “the use of creatine is not banned by the National Collegiate Athletic Association. However, he said, as a personal choice the YSU staff does not distribute creatine to its players. He said there are less expensive products that are as effective.” Which products are as effective and less expensive? Beats me. The story goes on to say that the boy’s father, Burke Sr. said his wife, Gina, went to the high school to find out about their son’s suspension and ended up being yelled at by Joseph Fuline, associate high school principal. While his wife was at the school, Burke Sr. said he talked on the telephone to Fuline and he (Fuline) yelled at him too. “I asked what rule my son broke. I said it [creatine] was just like vitamins, and Mr. Fuline said: ‘I’m considering this stuff [creatine] just like cocaine.”

Okay, as you can see, useful idiots abound. But the true winner, err loser, in this is the associate high school principal who likens creatine to cocaine. COCAINE? Has this person bothered to read the hundreds of studies on creatine? If he hasn’t here’s a start. One study looked at the clinical benefit after creatine administration in children and adolescents. Thirty-nine children and adolescents, aged between 1 and 18 years of age, with TBI or traumatic brain injury were studied. Did you read that carefully? Between 1 year and 18 years of age. Creatine was administered for 6 months, at a dose of 0.4 g/kg in an oral suspension form every day. For a 100 lb individual, that equals 18 grams daily. A whopper of a dose. They discovered that creatine consumption in children and adolescents with TBI improved results in several parameters, including duration of post-traumatic amnesia (PTA), duration of intubation, intensive care unit stay. Significant improvement was recorded in the categories of headache, dizziness and fatigue, aspects in all patients. And most importantly, no side effects were seen due to creatine administration.(1)

Another study found that four months of creatine supplementation led to increases in fat free mass and handgrip strength in the dominant hand and a reduction in a marker of bone breakdown and was well tolerated in children with muscular dystrophy.(2) So according to the evidence, creatine (even in high doses) is well tolerated in children.

The International Society of Sports Nutrition recently published a position paper on creatine.(3) In fact, the beauty of this position paper is that the ISSN, the only academic non-profit dedicated to promoting the science of sports nutrition, uses this really cool device known as ‘scientific evidence’ to make its conclusions. You know, ‘science.’ It’s that powerful way of thinking that has come up with cures for diseases, put men on the moon, come up with new ways to blow up objects, and even resulted in the invention of instant replay in the NFL. I’m telling you. Science is super cool.

Back to the position paper, here’s a nice little summary for those with short attention spans.

1. Creatine monohydrate is the most effective ergogenic nutritional supplement currently available to athletes in terms of increasing high-intensity exercise capacity and lean body mass during training.
2. Creatine monohydrate supplementation is not only safe, but possibly beneficial in regard to preventing injury and/or management of select medical conditions when taken within re commended guidelines.
3. There is no scientific evidence that the short- or long-term use of creatine monohydrate has any detrimental effects on otherwise healthy individuals.
4. If proper precautions and supervision are provided, supplementation in young athletes is acceptable and may provide a nutritional alternative to potentially dangerous anabolic drugs.
5. At present, creatine monohydrate is the most extensively studied and clinically effective form of creatine for use in nutritional supplements in terms of muscle uptake and ability to increase high-intensity exercise capacity.
6. The addition of carbohydrate or carbohydrate and protein to a creatine supplement appears to increase muscular retention of creatine, although the effect on performance measures may not be greater than using creatine monohydrate alone.
7. The quickest method of increasing muscle creatine stores appears to be to consume ~0.3 grams/kg/day of creatine monohydrate for at least 3 days followed by 3–5 g/d thereafter to maintain elevated stores. Ingesting smaller amounts of creatine monohydrate (e.g., 2–3 g/d) will increase muscle creatine stores over a 3–4 week period, however, the performance effects of this method of supplementation are less supported.
8. Creatine products are readily available as a dietary supplement and are regulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Specifically, in 1994, U.S. President Bill Clinton signed into law the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act (DSHEA). DSHEA allows manufacturers/companies/brands to make structure-function claims; however, the law strictly prohibits disease claims for dietary supplements.
9. Creatine monohydrate has been reported to have a number of potentially beneficial uses in several clinical populations, and further research is warranted in these areas.

Holy smokes batman, I think the ISSN forgot to add #10. Creatine is like Cocaine.

The funny (as in ironic or perhaps as in haha) part of this idiotic suspension is that creatine is present in meats, especially fish. I can see it now at Struthers High School. Football players, instead of smuggling in creatine as white powder (ooo…that’s so Miami Vice-ish), they instead sneak it in as big slabs of beef or worse, a big ole fish. Here’s what a conversation might sound like when the creatine police catch another unsuspecting high school kid who just wants to gain muscle and strength.

The creatine police: “Son, stop right there! I have reason to believe that you are in possession of an illegal substance, CREATINE.”

Unsuspecting high school student: “But Mr. Creatine policeman [he really wants to call him a cretin but that will likely up the possible suspension], I swear, I don’t have any creatine on me.”

The creatine police: “I smell something fishy. Open your book bag.”

Unsuspecting high school student: “Oh golly geez, okay.” He proceeds to open it revealing a big ole herring (which is full of creatine).

The creatine police: “Son, you are now in my custody and will be going to the principal’s office for possession of creatine.”

Unsuspecting high school student: “But sir, creatine is stored naturally in your body. Even you have creatine in your muscles, brain and other important organs.”

The creatine police: “Don’t you start going scientific on me son; this stuff is from the devil.”

What’s the moral of the story? Vladimir Lenin is smiling in his grave.

Reference

1. Sakellaris G, Nasis G, Kotsiou M, Tamiolaki M, Charissis G, Evangeliou A. Prevention of traumatic headache, dizziness and fatigue with creatine administration. A pilot study. Acta Paediatr 2008;97:31-4.
2. Tarnopolsky MA, Mahoney DJ, Vajsar J, et al. Creatine monohydrate enhances strength and body composition in Duchenne muscular dystrophy. Neurology 2004;62:1771-7.
3. Buford TW, Kreider RB, Stout JR, et al. International Society of Sports Nutrition position stand: creatine supplementation and exercise. J Int Soc Sports Nutr 2007;4:6.